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You see, my FUR keeps me warm. Your sweaters only serve to insult me. |
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When I say "woof," I mean "I hate you." |
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If the choice is between prison and playing dress up with you, I choose prison. |
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If you think I won't eat you when you die, you're dead wrong. |
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Though I have provided all the evidence in the world, perhaps I should take this time to state a certain fact explicitly: I am a dog. I am NOT a CHILD. |
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As you must be mentally off, I'll cut you some slack. |
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If you wanted a bunny, why didn't you just buy one? |
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You'll rue the day you did this to me lady. |
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Please remind me why I'm supposed to love you. |
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I give you everything I have to give and you still wish I was a Dalmatian. |
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I wish your husband took me with him when he left. |
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If I had hands I'd strangle you. |
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I suppose it could have been worse. You could've put me in a hair net so I'd look exactly like you do in the mornings. Oh... wait... you did. |
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What is wrong with you. Seriously. Did you not get enough love as a child? Is your world so completely devoid of meaning that you think dressing me as a flower is a form of care taking? I hope the house gets burgled tonight. |
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Oy vey. If only Moses would have left in that 11th Commandment: Thou shall not desecrate one's pet. |
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Remember this moment when I pee on your Persian rug tonight. |
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Maybe it's me...maybe I am a little messed up. But I'm funny how? I mean, funny, like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? Whaddya mean funny? How am I funny? |
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What am I wearing? Am I a picnic table? A waitress? |
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